I am not even sure if knowing everything is doing any good to me. It causes me pain, anxiety, insecurity and hatred. But on the other side, I really don't want my mind wandering and wondering what is happening. My imagination is very creative and sometimes unacceptable so I'd rather know the truth and be hurt by the truth than imagining things. Oh well, at this point in time, I really don't know what to do anymore, this is really not about right or wrong, everything's messed up.
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